Lucas' Homebirth (July 20, 2009. Issue 7.)

October 5, 2005 was the day that everything in our lives changed. Not just one, but two positive pregnancy tests! After six years of trying, a major surgery, the loss of an ovary, and being told by an infertility specialist that in vitro fertilization was our only chance of getting pregnant, we had finally come to the decision in September that adoption was our only option.

I stayed home from work that day because I thought I had food poisoning. Then John asked me when my period was due, I did the math, laughing at myself because it was the first month in years that I hadn’t thought about it myself. I was 3 days late.

A quick trip to Rite Aid confirmed his suspicions, we were pregnant! It wasn’t real to me until a blood test confirmed it a couple of days later. I spent the next 12 weeks in a fog, partly because I couldn’t keep any food in my tummy, partly because I was trying to not think until we made it through the first trimester.

Pregnancy was rough, on both me and John, but we were blissful. The nausea was unending, sleeping and breathing became a chore. Kidney stones and a bizarre virus landed me in the hospital twice. But every week we read about how big our little baby was currently and how he was growing.

Pretty much everyone though we would have a girl, but we were shocked in our 27th week to finally find out we were having a boy! We both cried in the ultrasound room, I was shocked and we were both so happy. I thought I wanted a girl, until I knew we were having a boy! We had decided to adopt and knew we would adopt a girl, so I had never really thought about having a son. I had dreams about caterpillars and dinosaurs that night…

The last few weeks of pregnancy went so smoothly, our planned homebirth looked like it would be happening. Our due date was June 16th. I had calculated the 11th, so we were expecting him sometime between those dates. On the 12th, Monday, we went to bed around midnight. About 2 a.m. I got up to pee and my water had broken! I called the midwife, she told me to go back to sleep and call her when we woke up or when contractions started. But contractions didn’t start. All day Tuesday we waited and nothing happened. The midwives came by and tried to test for amniotic fluid, there was just a little. We decided to start on herbs to bring on contractions at 6am on Wednesday. So we had one more night of waiting, then it would be a homebirth or a trip to the hospital if contractions didn’t start.

I had a hard time sleeping because my back was hurting. It was in retrospect that I realized the pains were about 15 minutes apart!

I started on the herbs to bring on contractions Wednesday morning. We went to McDonald’s for breakfast, I started having contractions in the car on the way there. When we got home I threw up all over the porch, John worked on filling the birthing pool while Katie (next-door neighbor and close friend) helped me through a few timed contractions. The midwives got here about 10:30. Around 11:15 the contractions were pretty much on top of each other. I had done a lot of meditation and even listened to Hypnobabies self meditation cds. I can honestly say that my labor was uncomfortable but not painful. I gave into the contractions, and withdrew into myself. I didn’t cry or scream. I was very nice to John throughout the entire experience! And he was wonderful to me, telling me how strong I was and how much he loved me and was proud of me.

The birthing pool (a kiddie pool in our living room) was such a dream. The warm water made me feel weightless. Any discomfort was spread through my entire torso, it felt like pressure not like pain. Even though I gave into the waves, one on top of each other, it all felt so natural and I had no fear. My midwives were amazing. I had Andrea with all of her knowledge and experience and Shiphka who held my hand and whispered encouraging words in my ear.

After I labored in the pool for an hour or so, Andrea told me that she had to go cover a nursing shift because of an emergency with the other nurse practitioner. Dee came to take her place, she was hands-off in such a confident way that I felt immediately comfortable with her. Less than 10 minutes later Dee had Shiphka get me out of the pool to check my progress. I had gotten to a point where it was so hard to not push at the beginning of each contraction. I got out and got dry and laid on the couch. Dee took a peek and asked me if I would be heartbroken if I didn’t have a waterbirth. I asked why and she said that he was crowning and asked if I was ready to have my baby on the couch. I remember her saying something about “text book” as I halfway pushed the first push. Then something else took over, I heard John behind me saying how strong I was and how great I was doing, so I pushed twice more and Lucas popped out, head, shoulders and all into Shiphka’s waiting hands at 2:14 p.m. on Wednesday, June 14th.

When they laid Lucas on my chest, he was so much smaller than I thought he would be. He didn’t cry at all, just made little whimpering and grunting noises but his eyes were open and looking at me. When he heard John’s voice he lifted his head to follow his voice. He was so small and perfect and looked so much like John! His little head was perfectly round and he looked so peaceful. He nursed immediately, and made such sweet little snuggling noises. John snipped the cord after it stopped pulsating and we both immediately fell in love with our son. After so many years of waiting, little Lucas showed up and made us a family!

Our friends and family came in small groups to see Lucas once we were both cleaned up and seated in my chair. Everyone commented on how peaceful Lucas and I looked. They all said they couldn’t believe he was just born, he looked older somehow. Giving birth to him at home was the most empowering experience of my life.