Dain Michael Down is a traveling story teller and has been since he was first able to make sounds. He collects experiences like fireflies, and uses them like grenades. His poetry has been called Jersey Confessionalist Humor. He's spent time working, writing, and performing in New Jersey, New York, Seattle, Columbus, and now resides in Red Dirt Country (Oklahoma City) all in the last 3 years. He is also a world renown hugger.

Three Poems (January 20, 2011. Issue 24.)

Weight

The mirrors in my life remain unbroken
Not for luck
But so that the silver slick reflection of all my
round edges can serve as a reminder

As if anyone would ever let me forget

That I am sometimes no more than the sum of my pounds
That each creak, crack, numbness, shot of pain through my limbs could be it
Could be my heart grinding to a halt, all blood sparks and rust
Tell me like it is

Dain, one of these days, your heart, is just going to give up on you

In the spring of 2002 I weighed 523 pounds
I found out on a scale at the recycling yard
I let the guys working take bets on the final number to play it off cool
I was 18 years old and had just dropped out of high school

It was too hard to get up each morning to get to class
To shuffle through the hallways and have my worth measured
in wide eyes and whispers
I was always good for a quick laugh

At that size
At this size
I am on display every single day
And will continue to be until I can claim that I am not the biggest person within spitting distance

Another person’s saliva, has the uncanny ability to invisibly and permanently staining skin

In the fall of 2007, I weighed 360 pounds
While walking past a Wendy’s on 14th Street in Manhattan
A scene erupted among the rush hour crowd
As a young city slick kid pushed people out of the way and opened
the door hollering out a warning of a one man stampede
It didn't matter to this normal kid, or anyone for that matter, that I already lost 160 pounds

I was still plump enough for picking
and in that instant my worth was set somewhere between caged circus attraction and zoo animal on the loose

Dain, one of these days, your heart, is just going to give up on you

I carry my cross under my skin
That most days I collapse under
With nothing but will to pick me back up
When wide eyes gawking cut deeper than any thorn

This is all my fault

Heavy breathing
Heavier sweating
Breasts like fantasies that some feel the need to grab

You have no reason to be upset the principal said
You should be use to it the last girl who touched me said
You brought this onto myself the police have said
They have all said that it is only fair

If I could just learn to put it all down
To stop swallowing the stress and the pain
I wouldn't have to worry about my chest going on strike

I make no medical excuses for what I am
I don't cope well
With anything

I eat when I'm upset
I am upset after I eat

This was never a choice
This is not a slow motion suicide

This is an act of terrorism against and innocent body
Carried out by a mind that marches blindly in the direction of an elephant graveyard

Birth Announcement

I don’t know what early spring mornings are like in Indiana
Sure, it is my birth place
But the only time I’ve ever been there was for that momentous occasion and a family reunion ten years later that brought with it the only two naturally occurring tornadoes I ever care to see.
But when this earth’s counter ticked up just one more number the first hands to hold me steady were of a stranger I would never see again
He is still the only person I have ever trusted to hold me completely naked

The burn of my first breath was cooled by the name of a woman I have yet to fall in love with
And the blood, smeared across my body read like primitive cave drawings of demons yet to come

And then I heard it
My first sound
The hiss of the blood pressure cuff said get use to the squeeze, years from now, the pressure on your body will at times feel like it is too much to bear, but you will
The thermometer told me that there will be plenty of moments that will raise the temperature of my blood
And the cold lights hum said this, is how you will feel for all of your days, on display

My mother held me as though they might take her only child away
My father’s hands never touched my skin that day and I could feel the chill of his indifference through the hospital blanket
I wonder if he knew he was leaving

Soon my mother’s milk was the only thing that could soothe the roaring of a stomach that would soon betray me
And when I closed my eyes for the first time, I marveled at the Sistine chapel vein work of my eye lids and dreamt the world whole

10 Reasons Why Not To Attempt a Whirlwind Romance

1: Anything that comes in on the wind can just as easily go out
2: There is no learning curve in a tornado. If the howling funnel of hell comes into your life and rips everything from its base, making you thankful you even survived. This is not the cloud to fall in love with.
3: Wind will never apologize for making things awkward.
4: Typically, one night stands lived out in the back of cabs are not a part of the fundamental building blocks of a relationship
5: Your heart is more sponge than pump. Remember the blustery days of your child hood that meant she was leaving. The way she kissed you in the field and ran off, moving onto things that she would never tell you about in the too few letters that eventually stopped coming
6: Being aroused by every passing wind is a good indicator that it should not play your match maker
7: Muscle memory is the quickest way to a flashback
8: (Insert your own personal reason here.)
9: Two bodies clinched together are not aerodynamic
10: Any eerie stillness in the air will become your metaphor for loneliness.