Evan Phail is a student at Hobart and William Smith Colleges, majoring in English with a concentration in Creative Writing. During the harsh winters, he grows a beard teetering between poor writer and poor homeless man.

Three Poems (March 20, 2011. Issue 26. The SLAM & FLASH Issue!)

Princess

Even though I have my weaknesses,
I am better than any princess out there.
I can’t sing very well,
I don’t have the smoothest face,
my breasts aren’t big enough to impress,
and maybe my right foot is bigger than my left
but if the glass shoe fits,
then my dreams of being swept off my feet
won’t be shattered to bits.

I’m not like those other princesses,
I have standards.
Just because he’s a prince with the biggest…crown
doesn’t mean he’s the best package in town.
Not to mention I’m picky.
Yeah, Belle’s Beast was a great ballroom dancer
but he’s too hairy,
too grumpy, too emotionally depressed
And Snow White, what are you doing
with seven small men who each have a different personality complex?

I’m just waiting for that one fascinating lover,
who awakes me from my perennial slumber
gives me the magical kiss to break the curse,
hands me a toothbrush and says
“Brush up beautiful,
I’ve got a magic carpet out back that is pretty fly,
and I want to be the guy to let you experience a ‘whole new world.”
—Now hold on a second there, prince, I didn’t catch your name
does this new world have talking willows?
Pocahontas told me about speaking to tree spirits,
let me tell you as I told her, weed does nothing for me.

Nor seaweeds, because Ariel had it all wrong.
Prince Eric is on a different level than her.
They just met and all smart men know
not to sink to her wet depths
with the off chance of catching crabs from her clam.
Ariel will be a princess without power.
I saw what Eric did to Ursula
when she had control of King Triton’s trident,
he stabbed the point of his ship into an area
that was definitely below her abdomen.
Let me tell you as I told her, that bitch got what she deserved!
—I won’t be that shallow,
but falling in love with a man I just met,
my first impression, his big mast silhouette against the sunset,
I’m better than that.

I’ve watched closely,
love goes sour when the princesses start to dream for that perfect crown.
I’ve grown past this prepubescent phase,
realizing that true love takes a couple of months,
it takes understanding and caring
of my weaknesses developed over years of being ashamed
only to discover that he has similar weaknesses that need to be cared for too.
That’s more than those flawless two dimensional princes
could ever give me

War, Poetry, Change, Unity

I’m too tired to think
I’m too tired to eat
too tired to drink
too tired to read
to write, to touch
to hear, to see
to win, to lose
to speak, to breathe
to smell, to walk
to fight, to dream
to swim in the rushing waters
of a political sea
because my line of duty
is poetry

My words are bullets—
barreling through bones and brains
bringing ideas of change
I’m the rider behind the reins
pushing forth tanks through the plains
across the battlefield of this stanza
and the trenches I see
are the loopholes in this society
hidden ‘til the day
you trip into it and can’t get away
can’t get out of the political bullshit
that the government’s laid

My rhymes are like nuclear bombs
you stay back and just watch in awe,
the radiation is passing through your body,
your thoughts are jumping while your skin’s rotting
because the burn you feel
is the one I feel too
it’s the people who preach
but don’t have a clue what to do

So I don’t want a welcome home ceremony
or a purple heart
just want others to see
the world is falling apart.
I need others to open up their welcoming homes,
to be hospitable to these prisoners of war,
to break down their ignorance doors.

I need support,
another helper hired
I can’t do it alone
I’m just too tired.
I’m recruiting an army
where you can speak your mind
blow away the enemy
with your rhymes,
your thoughts
can kamikaze kill the evil parts
of this fucking holocaust.
This holocaust where I ask
how come we don’t help
old ladies across the street?
or at least give them our bus seat?
we don’t say please and thank you
and we don’t say bless you
we don’t give change to the poor
we don’t care about anybody anymore!

These ideas
should get you active
our ideals
would make this world fantastic,
otherwise my ammunition prose
will be aiming at apparitions
just filling the status quo.
I won’t be swayed
by the media’s conformity hand grenades
that disintegrate individuality,
makes us think irrationally.
The outcome of a situation
isn’t what always matters
as long as the actions taken
are in the proper manner.
They don’t have to be pleasing me,
that’s the whole point
of deontological reasoning

Before we make peaceful negotiations
I want you to know how we’re going to reunite the nations
it’ll be more about us,
less about you and me,
our fundamental principles will be
Excellence, Commitment, Courage, and Integrity.
But if you don’t want to change the system,
I can’t blame you,
but I’m just too damn tired
of watching it rot in plain view

Reflection

I feel used and decrepit
I’ve been abused by the world that I’ve accepted
I’m no longer number one or two
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
Now that I’m supposed to learn something new

I will reflect on how I got into this predicament

I am disappointed in myself and my mentors
so now I must vent for
everything I loved to do
but can’t do anymore because of you.
I feel like the old lady in shoe
caring for twenty kids,
praying they don’t have the flu,
but at the same time,
I’m the one feeling sick.
I can’t tell whether this is a trick or a joke,
I hope the answer is no,
I’ve lost my position,
my place with the group
I’ve been moved to a spot where I cannot recoup,
a squad that I’m not familiar with
a job that I feel peculiar in.

Things would turn out easier for me
if only I accepted this new opportunity
but I just can’t adjust
to a place I don’t trust
a bind thrust upon me,
I don’t know how to deal with it
like a blackjack pro debating to say “hit.”
Other people like the cards I’ve been dealt
but they never really asked how I felt,
they assumed I would just roll with the plan
that’s the kind of person that I really am,
I’ll adjust to the pressures as best as I can…

I did, I blew them away
by letting my actions defend what I say
so let me retrieve what I believe
I lost it during your treasure hunt for the best human breed
the piece of the puzzle you think you need.
I was standing right in front of you
with blood and dirt on my knees
yelling out “please,
don’t you understand?”
it’s more about heart and hard work
that makes one a man.
Even after I impressed you all
I still haven’t recovered from my fall
my collapse that you caused
you thought my life could be put on pause
you could control it like a remote
fast forwarded through my struggles
when you couldn’t handle the lump in your throat
yet you didn’t want to rewind
look at the good old times
because they’re a thing of the past
you’re looking to the future
wondering if I can last
I don’t have an answer.
No reply.
I’m a presently thinking kind of guy.
My thoughts state that we’re both right
if we just see it in each other’s light
then I can say that I can get to sleep at night
without us getting into a fight
I’m just showing you how tight the tension is gonna be
the way you’ve started problems with me
but I know my passion must end
my life must continue around the bend
my future, I must tend
my past, I must mend

So I reflect
these times that I dissect
memories I’ll never forget
choices I’ll never regret