James Valvis lives in Washington State with his wife and daughter. His poems or stories have appeared in 5 AM, Cider Press Review, Confrontation, Eclipse, Midwest Quarterly, Rattle, Slipstream, Southern Indiana Review, and are forthcoming in ART TIMES, Arts & Letters, Clackamas, Cloudbank, Crab Creek Review, Gargoyle, Hanging Loose, New York Quarterly, Nimrod, Potomac Review, Red Rock Review, South Carolina Review, and elsewhere.  He will be the featured poet in Re)verb 7.  In addition to being a multiple Pushcart nominee, a novelette was a Million Writers Notable Story in 2005. 

Suicide Talk (August 20, 2010. Issue 20.)

--I’m going to kill myself.

--Okay.

--I really mean it this time.

--Okay.

--What are you saying?

--So far I’ve just said ‘okay.’

--But there seems to be some meaning in your okays .

--There isn’t.

--None at all?

--None at all.

--Aren’t you going to try to stop me?

--No.  Why should I?

--I don’t know.  Seems like the nice thing to do.

--Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t.

--What are you saying?

--Well, you’d think it’s the nice thing to do and everyone says it is, but what happens if tomorrow, after I stop you from killing yourself, you are kidnapped by a serial killer and he locks you in his basement and slowly skins you alive?

--You’re making me want to kill myself even more.

--Of course, what happens if tomorrow you win ten million dollars and meet the woman of your dreams who just happens to have a spare ticket for an around-the-world cruise?

--That’s not likely to happen.

--Neither is the serial killer.

--True.  I guess that’s true.

--Something in the middle will happen instead.  Something not too bad nor too great.

--Probably.

--I’d bet my life on it.

--Very funny.

--Of course, when emotions are involved it hardly matters what happens.

--What do you mean?

--Well, it’s like this.  Say on the best day of your life you stub your toe.  What happens?  Ah, you jump around a bit and curse and then go on feeling blissful because your met t some girl or published a book or won a football trophy or whatever.  But if it happens on the worst day of your life, you might see it as the straw that broke the camels back.  You might use it as an excuse for murdering your wife or quitting the football team.

--So what you’re saying is it doesn’t matter what happens to us, just how we feel about it?

--Not exactly.

--Then what are you saying?

--I’m saying try not to stub your toe.

--Hmm.

--Hmm, exactly.

--How did we start talking about this stuff anyway?

--Don’t know.  You wanted to do something.

--Yeah, what was that?

--Dunno.  Can’t remember.

--Well, I’m tired.  I’m going to bed.

--Okay.