Michael Constantine McConnellis a writer, editor, performer, palindromist, and resident of Denton, Texas.

Shocked (October 20, 2009. Issue 10.)

Donny was at the Lousy Luck drinking pints with his friends when Joni walked up to him. He was heavily buzzing from three Irish-whiskey doubles.

“Hey, Donny,” she said, standing there like a little flower. He finished his beer and lit a cigarette, relishing the first hit, letting Joni wilt a little from the tension of being ignored. He turned to her just as she started to scan the ceiling with her pretty doe-brown eyes.

“What's up, Joni?” Donny motioned ambiguously, as if he were going to hug her, but then he stood up, stretched his arms, and yawned. She jerked back and forth doubtfully before finally throwing her arms around him. She was wearing a short, flowered sundress and open-toed sandals. She smelled like Heaven.

“Whoa,” Donny said, hugging her and patting her on the head. “Where'd all this come from?” She shrugged and looked at him with dare in her eyes.

“Why don't you ever call me?” she asked.

“Bain!” Donny yelled past Joni at Bain, who was headed to the bar with an empty glass. “Could you get me another Shiner and a shot of Irish? I'll get you next round.” Donny looked at Joni; she was counting ceiling panels again.

“Since when did you start giving a fuck?” he asked. Her shoulders dropped and her face slackened. The bright colors of her dress dimmed grey. Her delicate, beautiful bottom lip started to quiver. Donny wanted to nibble on her lip, sucking and chewing. He wanted to tickle his fingernails into her nipple ducts ever so slightly then bite into her belly button.

“Why?” she cried. “Why are you being like this?”

“Alright,” Donny said, taking the last hit off his last cigarette and crushing the butt out in a full ashtray. “You don't fucking respect me; I don't fucking respect you.” He looked her straight in the eyes. Had he not been so drunk, he would've been shaking. Had he not been so drunk, he probably would have been nice and just kissed ass like he usually did. He looked her in the eye until Bain broke the silence by passing a shot and beer over her head. Don took the shot back and gargled with it, opting not to cool the burn with beer.

“But I thought –” she started to say, but Donny cut her off.

“But I thought you wanted to hang out with me,” Donny said sternly. “The last fucking time I called you, you wanted to go to the bar, but I didn't have any money, so you said I could come over and hang out after the bar closed. Remember that?”

“Well, yeah, but –”

“Then you called that night and said you and so-and-so were on your way to the bar, but you'd call or come over if nothing was going on. Remember, about two weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” she said, cautiously.

“Yeah,” Donny said.  He took a monstrous drink beer. “If you think I'm the next-best option compared to this fucking pathetic bar-scene, then lose my fucking number. Maybe I'm too old for you.” He turned and sat back down in his seat. Joni shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. Had she come over that night, she would have found Donny passed out on the floor. The other guys at the table looked back and forth between Donny and Joni, and Donny knew Joni was gone when his friends started talking again.

“Fuck, Jablonski, weren't you a little hard on the girl?”

“Not as hard as I'd be on her,” said Bain, apparently trying to insinuate hip-thrusting by the way he wobbled in his chair.

“Naw,” Donny said. “Fuck her. Case closed.”

“Dude, what's gotten into you?” asked Shocker. “That girl was hot. I'd give her two in the pooch and one in the cooch for sure.”

“I thought it was the other way around?”

“It's around any way I can get it!” Everyone laughed, and Donny scanned the room for Joni. He felt a little bad that he'd been so short with her. He should've told her that he could get caught up in the freckles on her nose like they were flowers scattered over a gentle lawn. Donny noticed that she'd settled into an empty space against the wall, on the outskirts of a group of people. Donny could feel himself starting to soften.

“It all comes down to respect,” he said, regardless. “Last week, I came to the bar with another girl; we'd had plans to hang out. The fucking bitch ended up leaving with someone else.”

“OUCH!” The feeling was unanimous.

“I know, right,” Donny said. “She was flirting with these guys at the foosball table as soon as we got there. We’d rode there with some friends of hers, and they had to apologize for her when they dropped me back off at home, after the bars had closed. The bitch didn't even have the decency to say goodbye, not even to let us know that she found a cock to ride and was changing her plans.” Donny was slurring loudly by this point, but the Lousy Luck was packed – last call on a Friday night – so his ranting was indistinguishable from everyone else's. Donny was only angry at Joni because he cared about her. He also knew that he’d just fucked everything up with her. “I'm fucking sick of being nice to people!”

“I'll toast to that,” said Bain. He and Donny tapped pints.

“You don't have to be so bitter,” said Shocker. He was sizing up Joni, snatching glances at her sitting alone. “Joni's not bad at all.”

“Go for it, my man,” Donny said. “She won't be going home with me tonight.”

“Don't mind if I do,” said Shocker, and he was off towards her like a child to ice-cream.

“Don't take it too hard, Jablonski,” said Bain. “At least the girl who shafted you last week slipped out unnoticed. I went out with one a few months ago, and she actually started kissing another guy – right fucking in front of me.”

“Fuck, Bain,” Donny said loosely, the syllables sliding free around his fat, drunk tongue. “About time for another round?”

“I'm glad you speak my language, Jablonski.”

“It's the language of love,” Donny said and looked through the cigarette-smoke frosted room at Shocker and Joni hitting it off rather well. Shocker was stroking the back of her head with his fingernails. He grabbed the wads of loose dollars in his pockets and made his final estimation of the night. He’d come up to the Lousy Luck with Shocker, and Donny knew that Shocker wouldn’t be leaving with him. Neither would Joni. Donny had to work early the next day on Shocker's crew, starting with a second-floor three bedroom apartment to a two story house, a piano involved, a rookie to train. Shocker waved at Donny and Bain as he walked Joni out of the bar. Donny stumbled to the bar, returning a few minutes later with more alcohol.

“Here we go, Bain,” Donny slurred, laying two fat double whiskies on the table, one for him, one for Bain. “This should make me too sick to work tomorrow, but, fuck it. I could use a fucking break.”